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Trivers Communication Group

Business networking doesn't work--at least not if you do it the way most people do.

Have a USP (Unique Selling Proposition)?
Shove your business cards into the hands of everyone you see?
Believe small talk leads to big business?
Have a clever way of getting people to remember your name?

People care mostly about themselves, and their needs. These typical networking approaches are all about you, so they are doomed to fail.

Try networking approaches that put the other person first. Ask:
What's their product or service?
Why do their customers like them?
What's the biggest challenge in their business today?

Don't be perceived as an interrogator. Be prepared to respond with conversational follow on comments such as: "that's interesting, what else happened?" or "I'm curious how that came about."

You also should not talk with any one person too long. Networking is designed for quick meetings with numerous people.

When you think there's a reason to continue getting to know another person, say "it's been great learning (something they said) about you. Why don't I call you tomorrow, and we can decide if we want to get together for coffee?"

If you're talking with someone you don't really want to follow up with, say "it's been great learning (something they said) about you. When I meet someone else who might be a good contact for you, I'll send them your way." Then you move on.

The plumber who rebuilt the flush mechanism of my toilet told me that the next time I called his company, I'd get a 15% discount. But his work was below standard and needed follow-up repairs. Getting another plumber to fix the mistake required me to have three unpleasant conversations with their customer service rep. Not only was she impatient and rude with me, she lied about the plumber's schedule. I waited four hours for a repair that took two minutes.

Now I do need additional plumbing work done, and I'd like to get the benefit of the 15% discount, but I don't want to have to talk to the same customer service rep. I don't want to be treated like a nuisance, and I don't want to be lied to.

While this company is clearly trying to encourage repeat business with it's discount and through training the plumbers to tell customers about it, they are not helping themselves by having this particular woman answering the phone and dealing with customers.

How about you? Do you make it enjoyable for your customers to take advantage of your specials? In this world of competition and promotion, you can stand out above the crowd by offering the very best experience--which starts with the person answering the phone. You're going to have someone answer the phone--why not ensure that that person is committed to making the very best impression for your company?

Do your company policies help or hinder your customer service claims?

Don, the plumber, rebuilt the flushing mechanism of a toilet, and during the conversation told me two things: 1) he would not cause any damage to the toilet in the course of rebuilding it; and 2) the company provides a 1 year warranty.

So, about an hour after he completed the work and left, I found that this new mechanism was causing the tank to overflow when re-filling. There was water everywhere. It also happened to be a Saturday before a long holiday weekend. I called and left a message with the answering service.

A customer service rep called me back on Tuesday morning. When I told her that I wanted the plumber back first thing one morning she said she'd put me down for sometime between 7:30 and noon. Why couldn't she guarantee that he would be at my house first thing-say between 7:30-8:30? Because "company policy" only allows her to make a promise of between 7:30 and noon.

This is not customer service, this is service to the company disguised as customer service. If they really meant to provide customer service, especially to an existing customer for whom they did poor quality work, they would have said, "yes, he will be there no later than 8:30AM, per your request." Unequivocal and definite, serving me, not their own interests.

How about your company? Are your company policies and your claims to offer quality customer service in alignment for the benefit of the customer?

Six times out of ten, a woman I know will look past me, sullen and grumpy, and barely acknoledge my greeting to her. The other four times she looks right at me, smiles and says something so friendly that I can't believe it's the same person.

I simply feel that I can't trust her. I don't like wondering each time I see her if that day she will be my friend or my foe. If she can't be consistently friendly, then I'd just as soon she decides once and for all not to ever be friendly. Then I'll know hwat to expect and won't be bothered by her erratic behavior.

How about you? Can people count on you for the basics: recognition that you're there, a smile and a pleasant greeting? Each encounter doesn't have to be effusive and overdone. Just courteous and consistent will be fine. If you don't like it when someone brushes past you carelessly, be sure you aren't doing that to others. The small effort this takes will surely return to you many times over.

A reader wrote: "In Networking Art - part 1, you gave three tips that would help us get a conversation going with someone we meet at a networking event. My problem is that I'm too uncomfortable to even approach people. Do you have any suggestions about how to deal with my nervousness?"

First, before you go to the event, bring a clear picture to your mind of a time when you were feeling very comfortable and confident in a social setting. This may have been at a family gathering, or with close friends, people in your faith community, or people you pursue your hobby with. Let yourself re-live the event--the smiling and talking that you did without thinking, how you circulated through the crowd, the un-self-conscious way you asked questions and exchanged stories. You are creating your own role model based on your own feelings and behavior.

Second, deliberately bring these feelings and behavior with you to the networking event. This requires that you replace your habit of "I am uncomfortable at networking events" with the model of you at this other event. You really do have the power within to replace the self-defeating habit with the self-energizing habit.

Third, think of yourself as the host of the networking event. This means thinking that you're responsible for the happiness and comfort of the others. Your role as host takes you out of yourself and helps strengthen the positive self-image you're bringing with you.

You may not have many opportunites to talk about yourself and your business when you're serving as the host, however, you will gain confidence and enjoyment. This will support all your networking activities for the future, helping you get out and network as often as you need to.